Shrek and Donkey and Starting Over
Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example...uh... ogres are like onions.
Donkey: They stink?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Shrek: No! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. You know, not everybody likes onions. What about cake? Everybody loves cake!
At one time or another, every single person in your life is going to disappoint you. The disappointment may come in the form of a major ordeal or it may be a simple miscommunication, but we're human, we're imperfect, and we're going to let each other down.
What do you do, though, when it is a major ordeal? What do you do when someone really, truly hurts you? Do you scream at each other or send hateful messages? Sometimes. Take time apart? Maybe. Cry? If you're a girl. All three? I have.
...but then you are faced with a decision. You have to decide whether or not you are willing to start over.
When I say start over, I don't mean just a second chance. Second chances tend to be accompanied with resentment and bitterness. Starting over? Starting over begins with forgiveness. You can give someone a second, third, fourth chance... but if you don't forgive them for this or that, it will always come back up, beginning an unhealthy cycle and a toxic friendship.
If you want someone to still be the Shrek to your Donkey and you don't want to lose a friend, forgiveness has to be a part of the equation and a legitimate restart has to occur. A clean slate, a level playing field and a new perspective have to be present. This starts when we acknowledge each other's layers. There's more to everyone than meets the eye. Everyone has a story, a past and even a present that shapes their character and motivates their actions. Our layers make us who we are and in any type of relationship you absolutely have to be willing. You must be willing to see someone else's "layers", and just as willing to show your own.
Sometimes we have to forgive and move on because there is no friendship left to preserve. In that case, we learn a lesson, gain experience and live our life. However, some friendships are too good to throw away and we have no choice but to start over, look deeper and try to understand one another's perspective. When that happens, the most fulfilling relationships develop and "major ordeals" are going to be less likely. Friendships aren't always easy and starting over is always a risk but whether you're an onion or a cake, people are something worth investing in.
Who do you need to start over with today? ( click here :) )
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