the dating blame game

Dating is not easy... especially when it comes to the awkward "this isn't going to work out" conversations. 

When it happens, your friends rally around you telling you how it's not you, it's the other person - that they're crazy for not being with someone as wonderful, awesome and flawless as you are.

Let's be honest... sometimes, it IS you, but I'm here to tell you, that that is OKAY. 

Sometimes, it's you because you make a mistake. You go a little crazy, say the wrong thing, or have a horrible personality trait that controls your life. Sometimes, it's YOU. When it's your fault something doesn't go any further, admit it, and try to be a better person. The next time around, you'll think before you speak, be honest like you should, be more polite in public, (you get the drift). Learn from it and move on.

However, even if you feel that through many of those said learned lessons you are finally the best version of yourself, remember that you are who you are and that is something that can only change so much.  You may be great, but sometimes your flaws will get in the way... of being with the wrong person.

The right person for you isn't going to run at the first sign of an imperfection. 

I'll tell you the truth - I've played a part in messing things up with quite a few people because of my tendency to "overthink" things. No, it isn't my best quality - but I do know that one day, someone will just tell me "girl you are absolutely crazy stop overthinking things," hug me and go on with our day. He isn't going to be mad at my (admittedly) irrational worries, but will know that I only worry because I know I have someone worth worrying about - and in a strange way will find it flattering.

...and for the record, I'm working on it... but don't tell me it's "not me," cause sometimes it is, and that's okay with me.  I like myself.


  1. i like you, too. this is a good reminder though. reminds me of the beginning of he's just not that into you when all the girls rally around their friends saying "you're awesome! he's intimidated by you! he's just scared of how much he likes you!" sometimes these words are true, but most times they are not. we all have our quirks and problems. it's all about finding someone who can handle them! good words. and holler at your girl sometime so we can hang.


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