Why I Quit Online Dating... again
Most people would give up on online
dating after meeting a guy with an autographed picture of Judge Judy framed and
hanging on the wall of his apartment. Plenty of girls would give up
online dating after meeting a guy who insisted on bringing Jack Daniels on a
first date. Deleting an account would seem inevitable after creepy
clingers, liars, disappearing acts and horrible halitosis issues. You'd
also think I would have given it up after my first experience of dating a guy
for an entire summer not knowing he was married... yet I've
reactivated/deactivated several times in 3 years out of boredom and then disgust.
So, I quit. Dating shouldn't be like an interview. It shouldn't be forced and it shouldn't be boring. 7 times out of 10 (it works for some people, right?) forced is exactly what it is. I want to go out with someone because I already find them interesting. I don't want to go on a date only to find out they're not (or the other way around). Dressing up and asking awkward questions to see if each other meets some unwritten list of criteria is no longer my idea of fun.
But this time... it's gone.
Deleted, done, MIA. Seriously.
Last night I went on a fairly
miserable date. The guy was polite, friendly enough, paid for my chicken
wings and walked me to my car like a true gentleman. However, I think I
could have carried on a more meaningful/interesting/fun conversation with a
duck. I'm an extrovert and don't tend to have a hard time making small
talk and generally get along with most people... but I spent the majority of
that [felt like six hours] hour staring at the table, eating my food in silence
and putting on my best fake smile in the most sincere way possible. I
almost think I'd rather sit through an entire hour of something work related
or maybe watch a documentary on the life cycle of a butterfly than endure such
an awkward event ever again. Pretending to enjoy myself and forcing
conversation is harder than most day to day jobs and while I can clear a chicken
bone - free wings is never worth it.
So, I quit. Dating shouldn't be like an interview. It shouldn't be forced and it shouldn't be boring. 7 times out of 10 (it works for some people, right?) forced is exactly what it is. I want to go out with someone because I already find them interesting. I don't want to go on a date only to find out they're not (or the other way around). Dressing up and asking awkward questions to see if each other meets some unwritten list of criteria is no longer my idea of fun.
As if social media hasn't already
taken enough from real life interaction, online dating has ruined us all.
Sorry guys, but you used to be more manly and bold. My Grandpa told me he
met Grandma because he thought she was cute, turned his car around and pulled
right up in her driveway. Granted, that's creepy nowadays - but a simple
hello followed by a conversation really isn't that hard. More girls than
you think (and especially the ones who are worth it) enjoy a little bit of the
old fashioned style. Approach us. Call us. Stop hiding behind
fears, Facebook and text messaging and go for it.
Until I meet a guy who gets the
point, I may be stuck hanging out with my pet fish, baking brownies and
watching Girl Code reruns on occasion, but I can promise it beats out
online dating any day.
LCRAB86 is now Lori and plans on
staying that way.
What's wrong with bringing Jack Daniels on a first date?
ReplyDeleteMen can get so far with a phone call instead of a text. The glory days of staying up on the phone with someone for 3 hours just laughing and getting to know each other need to make a come back for real. I hope some men are reading this!
ReplyDelete