Don't Worry About Me
I know the look. The "poor Lori, she never learns" look. The "poor Lori, she just makes so many mistakes but we love her anyway" look. The "Lori did it again" look. I have seen it so often that I could describe it to a courtroom sketch artist and he'd come up with a group photo of the people closest to me.
I don't always do what is socially acceptable. I don't play the part of the typical girl. My i's aren't always dotted, my t's are rarely crossed and I rarely take the advice of my well-meaning and usually more experienced friends. I am who I am and I'm not your average girl.
So what if I put my heart out on the line? Who cares if I take risks more than I take caution? Maybe it's who I am to exhaust myself emotionally, giving until I have nothing left to give. I care too much; I try too hard, and I think about myself way too little. I've been the doormat and I've been friends with the mean girls. I've handed out forgiveness like free candy and given multiple chances until it hurts. I've been burned people and hurt by circumstances but one thing I can say is I don't regret who I am.
I learn something new about myself through every situation in my life. Through these, I haven't changed a bit. Rather, I've grown. I will never stop having a big heart and I will always look for the best in even the worst circumstances and people. Those things will remain constant but I promise you, I am growing and I am getting stronger.
So whenever you see me feeling down and you want to pity me yet shake me at the same time, know this: I am okay. I have to make choices every day and while they are 9 times out of 10 the complete opposite of what you would suggest, I trust that God will continue to direct me down the path of his will, even if I veer off course once in a while.
Believe that, and don't worry about me. :)