Just On Time

This morning as we were making our way to the beach (for a week!) my mind was surprisingly any and everywhere but on my upcoming week of fun in the sun.  As I told a friend last night, I have been fairly pensive lately.  It’s pretty cool to look back over the last few months on my life and see how much has changed… from the circumstances themselves in various situations to my outlook on these circumstances.  My life is pretty good (actually great) but of course it is human nature in a spoiled country with an abundance of necessities that there is always more we want. It’s funny to think about the things I complain about when there are people outside of the US (and even inside of the US) that have nothing. While I complain that I’m out of shampoo and can’t find the brand I like again, some people can’t even afford to buy shampoo or don’t have water to wash their hair.  (and some people can, but choose not to on a regular basis but that’s another story ;) )

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that there have been some things lately that have been replaying in my mind and frustrating me to no end.  The “what ifs” of life have been strangling and taunting me, tempting me to take control of my own situations.  If you know anything about the God we serve, you know that taking control of your own situation (without waiting on his guidance) is like going to the front of a plane and kicking the pilot in the head and trying to fly it yourself while it spirals to the ground.  I’d be willing to bet more than the amount in my checkbook that it would end in disaster.  Even though these things I want to control are desires of my heart, they are trivial in the big picture of life.  If I never receive the desires of my heart but I fulfill God’s purpose for me in life then I should still be happy.  That is what matters.  Does it stop me from wanting these things?  No.  It does put it in perspective though.

Right now my small group is doing the study “Discerning The Voice of God” by Priscilla Shirer.  How ironic (aka completely planned by God) is it that today’s study discussed God’s timing.  God’s timing is perfect.  If something is meant to happen it will.  God will work everything out for His good in His timing.  As Christians, we know these things to be true… but how often do we actually live like we believe them?  This quote on the side of the page spoke volumes to me this morning and I wanted to share it with you:

“My acceptance of his timing was a rigorous exercise in trust. I was tempted to charge the Lord with negligence and inattention, like the disciples in the boat in a storm. They toiled frantically until the situation became impossible and then instead of asking for Jesus’ help they yelled, “Master, don’t you care that we’re drowning?” They weren’t perishing; they were panicking. It was not too late. Jesus got up and merely spoke to the wind and sea. “– Elisabeth Elliot

Woah.  To my small group ladies checking out my blog right now--- is this talking to me or what?  (and perhaps some of you) Close friends checking out my blog right now—have you ever seen me panic?  Have you ever seen me impatient and wanting to control my every situation without letting God do his thing?  No way.. never.. not me!!!  Hmm. Right.

Honestly I don’t think it gets much more clear than that quote by Elisabeth Elliot.   It doesn’t get much more personal either.  When things aren’t going my way, YES, I freak out.  (Even in little situations.)  I want things to go my way and when they don’t I don’t know what to do.. poor pitiful me.  I also have a problem with asking God for his will to be done but only if it agrees with what I want for myself.  Other than that he can keep his plans to himself.  I’m not that blunt about it but with the prayers I send up it might as well be what I’m saying.  I HATE not knowing how something is going to turn out.  I hate having things “unfinished.”  I’m actually surprised I’m not a workaholic because I hate leaving at the end of the day knowing that I still have so much to do.  It is the fear of the unknown. A lot of people have it but rarely admit it.

So this whole mess of a blog is me trying to say that in all of my panic and stress over things not going my way and not knowing when/if they ever will.. I need to remember who calms the storms and stop doubting his power.  Again, something I know in my heart but I live like I don’t.  I know my words don’t always flow when I am rambling… but I felt this was a blog I really wanted to write.  God is doing big things – I can feel it.  I just need to chill out!!!  Don’t we all sometimes?  The things I am waiting on him to guide me away from or towards are still there.. and they are just things, or people, or situations that I, Lori Michelle Crabtree am NOT in control of.  If he wants me to do something, he will do whatever it takes to push me in that direction (or shove).

We just need to seek Him and trust.

I hope this made sense.

Tonight’s playlist:

Brand New Day – Joshua Radin

Good Life – OneRepublic

Next To Me – Civil Twilight (Shout out to Brian B for the awesome recommendation and you're welcome Eric that I shared it with you. )

Savior Please – Josh Wilson

Tonight Tonight – Hot Chelle Rae

If We Ever Meet Again – Katy Perry/Timbaland

Side Note:  I am sitting outside with an ocean breeze right now and it’s amazing.  I may have to blog every night.