ALL of the emojis - thoughts on late blooming, furniture and elopement

​To all my friends who have had elaborate weddings, I am impressed. To my friends who are parents, you have all of my respect. To those my age in management positions or running your own business, way to go! 

Cause me? Call me a late bloomer, but after years at a dead end job, I'm finally finding my way in the career world. I'm turning 29 in November and I'm feeling like a college graduate.​ (I don't know about you, I'm feeling 22) I live in a cheap apartment with horrible property management, mildewed cabinets and a mix and match assortment of furniture (including my childhood bedroom dressers and a tiny TV). I have many years ahead of student loan repayment and the whittling away of my emergency credit card debt from dental work, car trouble, car trouble and more car trouble. I live in constant fear that my car is going to break down and I'll inherit another car payment. Oh, and Triangle Orthopaedics wants an arm and a leg (pun intended) for physical therapy for my knees. 

I'm grateful to make more money now, but I'm entering into the "real life" phase at full speed and my bank account is giving me ALL of the emojis. 

Like... whenever I get married, I'll no longer be splitting rent by 3. Bye bye an extra few hundred dollars a month. I'll eventually have money sucking children. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that I'll probably be sitting on the floor for dinner or movie night, because who has the money for tables and couches? And a furniture-less apartment sure doesn't sound fun for a future honeymoon. I mean, after dropping an unfair amount (that I hope will fall magically from the sky) on a wedding... a "tropical honeymoon" will be turning the AC off in the apt and eating some pineapple in beach chairs with ocean sounds playing from my laptop. 

Oh, wait. Apple wants $338 to fix the sound on my laptop. 

Don't worry, you didn't miss an announcement. But, within the next couple of years, it is a reality and my future has been on the forefront of my mind for the past few weeks. And my conclusions?

1. I'm disappointed that it's absolutely engrained in me that eloping is NOT an option.

2. Can I just give everyone a high five for celebrating with me one day? Do you really need food and cake as a thank you?

3. I hope my friends are cool with BYOC parties. (Bring yo own chair).

4. I seriously struggle to remember to clean my fish bowl... am I prepared for real life?

5. I worry too much, but I like to call it preparation of sorts.

All I'm saying? Is to those of you who have your life together? I seriously applaud you. Please mourn with me because as soon as I blink, my days of shopping at Target (for non essentials) are over. Honestly? I may never "have it together," but I can say that I'm really happy and despite my innate capacity for worrying, it will all be okay.